My father was the original owner of this vehicle, and took amazing care of it. He had given it to me my sophomore year of college. When I received the car, it was in great shape and there was not really much wrong with it, except that it was like 12 years old when I got it. But that was okay, it still ran great and everything.
Having it up in Athens probably was not the best of ideas. For one, having a car on such a small campus just fed into my laziness. I would drive every where, even to the bar. Which probably was only a couple football fields away from my house. Also I felt like every time I would drive the car uptown, I would come back to find a new ding or scratch on it.
Regardless of what happened, it always seemed to run and would get me to where I needed to go. By the time I moved home, Red Rocket already had over 200,000 thousand miles on it. The alternator and the starter started going out, and it seemed like the longer and further I drove it more problems kept coming up.
Eventually it got really bad, and would make a really loud knocking sound every time I ran the car. I could feel it was getting to the end. Besides, how many people have known a Chevy to make it over 200,000 miles? A Honda maybe, most likely, but not an American Made car. They are not meant to last that long, so that alone was a blessing.
I had a buddies Dad, who was a mechanic, listen to the engine and give me his expert opinion. Within a few seconds of hearing the knocking he had diagnosed it. He informed me that the engine rods were what was causing the knocking, and that the car did not have much life left. Actually, he was surprised that Red Rocket even made it from my house to his.
We sat around and debated some of our options. We came up with three options. Option 1: Get the engine replaced. We looked up on craigslist how much a new engine would run. We figured around $1200, not including the labor to have it installed. We came to the conclusion that the vehicle was not even worth that much, so we ruled that one out. Option 2: Donate it to good will, and let me dad take the tax write off. Option 3: Take it to the scrap yard, and get as much out of it as we could.
I ran over these options with my father, and at the time he wanted the cash more than the tax write off. So we had a plan in place, we were going to take the car to the scrape and give my father the cash they offered us. We found out that the scrape yard was about about $250 per ton of steel. The blazer was a 2 ton vehicle, so we would get around $500.
Being the drunken hillbillies that we are, we were itching for a good adventure and figured that if we were going to scrap the Red Rocket, we might as well get some fun out of it before we had to put her to rest. Now a couple of my buddies own a house out in the "country", that has a couple of acres of land, and some dirt bike trails going through the woods. Off roading, drinking, and being rowdy as shit has always been a hobby of ours, so we all agreed we would be a bunch of fucking retards for not taking the Red Rocket off-road one last time. Besides, what was the worse that could happen? We damage the car and render it useless? Well with the engine rods about to blow, it would have came to that anyway. I figured, Id rather have the Rocket break down while having some fun, than on my way to work in the morning.
So we left the mechanics house, crossed our fingers and headed out to the country. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that before we left we had gone to town with some spray paint cans. Spraying on some details that made it look 100x more hillbilly then it already did (pictures below will prove my point). Of course we had to stop at the gas station to stock up on beer and cigarettes to get us through this crazy adventure we were about to embark on.
So there we were. Coolers full of beer, endless amounts of cigarettes and the rest of the night ahead of us. We hopped in the car and headed for the trails. Being as reckless as we could, we hit the trails hard. Not giving a shit if we hit a tree, a ditch or anything else that was in our way. The woods were our playground, and it seemed as if we were children again, out on recess letting our imaginations run wild.
It wasn't until we hit our first tree and knocked it over that we realized the potential we had with the Red Rocket. The thing was a fucking tank. We probably cleared over a dozen or more trees, clearing pathways for new trails. Our adrenaline was through the roof, and everyone wanted to get behind the wheel and give it a try. It was just the rush we were all looking for. Now, I had recently ended a long and painful relationship and was in a very "delicate" state. So not only was this a rush and fun as hell, but in a way it was therapeutic at the same time. I was letting out all of the frustration the shitty relationship had brought me, on the Rocket and the poor poor trees that did not stand a chance against us and our 2 ton wrecking machine.
The fun continued for countless hours, to us it seemed like an eternity. We drove the Rocket so hard that we went through 3 tires, both bumpers had fallen off, somehow someone ripped the door off of the frame, and all four windows had shattered. It is still a mystery today as to why the airbags did not go off, makes me wonder what would of happened if I were to get into a wreck out on the streets. But we didn't care, we had the okay from my Dad, and we knew the scrap yard would give us our money regardless of the damage.
We thought the engine rods were never going to blow. I started thinking to my self, did I make a mistake by taking this off road and destroying it? Could this car have lasted me longer than we expected? Just as I was thinking these thoughts, we were plowing through the woods, with 2 flat tires (we had ran out of spares to put on at this point) and hit a big ditch. The car was stuck, and we tried and tried to push it up the hill. We had every man at the party help us push it out of the ditch. I cant remember who was behind the wheel at the time, but he was giving the Rocket all she had.
BOOM! We heard a huge pop as the driver was giving the Rocket gas. That was it, the engine rods finally blew. This is what we thought would happen on the drive over to the house. It is amazing that it even lasted that long. We eventually got the Rocket out of the ditch, and it was able to make probably one last lap through the woods (even with the blown engine rods) before it started to putter and eventually died.
It was a sad sight, seeing the Red Rocket in all of her beauty, just laying there in the middle of the woods like a wounded animal. There was nothing that could be done at this point. So we left her back in the woods, and walked back to the house to keep drinking and partying. At this point in the night, it was easily 3:30 am. A few people had staggered off to bed, leaving a handful of us still up, wanting to cause more mischief.
Someone started making a joke about how the Red Rocket was like an old dog with rabies, and we had to drag it out to the woods to put it down. "That was it!" we thought, the perfect way to end a perfect night. So my friend who owned the house went inside and got his shotgun and a box of shells. Like a bunch of bandits in the night, we loaded up with firepower and headed back into the woods. Walking through the trails, we were laughing and joking about how bad of an idea this was. A bunch of drunken morons with a loaded shotgun and double vision like a mother fucker.
The walk back through the woods to the resting place of the Red Rocket seemed like it took forever. Maybe it was the booze, or maybe it was the anticipation of getting to put a couple slugs into her, but either way it seemed like an endless walk. Finally we had approached the vehicle. Someone said some final words, as if it was a real funeral.
It was time, we loaded up the shotgun, took aim and BOOM! The first shell was fired. We fired it at an angle, that the first bullet did not penetrate (haha penetrate). So we decided to take another angle. We stood about 10 feet away, aimed right behind the back drivers side door. BOOM! BOOM! two more rounds were blasted into the car. I felt like the kid from Old Yellar. As fucked up as this situation sounds, it was one of the most invigorating experiences of my life. When again in my life would I be able to shoot a car and not have any repercussions for it?
As we fired the last couple rounds into the car, we all looked around at each other with the biggest smiles on our face. We had succeeded in doing everything that we set out to do. We drove the Red Rocket into the ground. She gave it everything she had, and she was a trooper. After giving her her final rest, we packed up the shotgun and our ammo and headed back to the house. Remember, this was 3:30 in the morning, and we obviously had no respect for our neighbors. Unfortunately we had woken up one of the neighbors and had to deal with his bitching and complaining about how he was trying to sleep.
At the time, we didn't care. In the morning, we might have felt a little bad. Well the Red Rocket sat back in the woods for a few weeks, until we had the time to go back there and tow her out. We got her out of the woods and called AAA for a tow. The dispatcher lady informed me that AAA did not tow cars to the scrap yard, and I would need to have it towed to a garage or someones residence. "Okay I said, we'll take it to the closest shop around" is what we told her.
When the driver arrived and hopped out of his tow truck, we informed him that we needed it towed to the scrap yard down the street. We explained to him that we understood it was against AAA policy, but we were willing to pay him some extra cash to not tell anyone. He said and I quote "You pay me enough buddy, and I dont give a fuck if I have to tow it to California". Perfect we though, a hillbilly tow truck driver with no regard for rules and policies, He was probably just like us in his prime. So he loaded up the Red Rocket, and off to the scrap yard we went.
After it was all said and done, we had received about $465 bucks for the Rocket. Steel was going for a little less than when we had called before, but that was okay, we just wanted to get it off of our hands. We tipped the driver $20 bucks, and he about shit his pants. I am sure all he could think about was taking that 20 spot and going right to Kroger to get a 12 pack of Bush Gold Tops and a pack of Marlboro Reds, going home getting wasted and probably beating his wife, then pounding the shit out of her and passing out. Or maybe he was just grateful that we tipped him. Who knows, we didn't ask.
Needless to say, that night will be forever ingrained in our memory. When will we ever get a chance again to completely destroy a vehicle, with no consequences? Probably never, unless someone wants to buy a piece of shit just to destroy. But I can think of better things to spend my money on.
I took as many pictures as I could the next morning, which I have posted below. Enjoy and thanks for reading! Hope the story amused you. If you ever have a car that is about to die, and you planned on scrapping it. I suggest either doing something like this your self, or giving one of us a call. We will gladly take the junker off your hands so we can have another night of fun!
Here are the pictures we took.
side view #1 (notice the door laying on the roof)
side view # 2
This is what the bumper looked like after plowing over trees.
Flat tire (after we ran out of spares)
Notice no window? That's because it shattered.
Just for fun we took an axe to it a couple of times.
The side panels all dented from pivoting on trees.
Good thing there wasn't much gas in her, we did not realize how close to the gas tank we shot.
Second bullet hole!
Passenger Side View.
Our Hillbilly Spray Paint job.
Some of the parts that broke off, there were plenty more we could not find.
The Red Rocket loaded on the Tow Truck.
Tow Truck 2
Off she goes!
I wish I would have taken pictures of when we were at the junkyard. I dont know why I didn't.
Keep checking back for more posts. I try to update as much as possible. If you have an suggestions or anything you would like to see me blog about, please leave a suggestion. Don't forget to follow me on twitter @_justlutz
Have a great weekend!!!!
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